Example Post 1

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! when i get back, remind to tell you about the time i took 100 nuns to nairobi! you are as precious to me as you were to your own mother and father. i swore to them that i would protect you, and i haven't. i want to shoot the pigeons... off my roof. yes, i used a machine gun. 

Jasper: your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for. at this point, i'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it'd brought you back to the world! you know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies... yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. i took a viagra, got stuck in me throat, i've had a stiff neck for hours. your were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. it's not the size mate, it's how you use it. my lord! you're a tripod.